A Good Cry

There are some times when tears come easily. People would think I am crying at nothing but what is going on in my mind and heart are known, at that moment, by myself and God. For instance yesterday, out of the blue, I started crying at a coffee house I was at (it might have gone unnoticed...with a discrete eye wipe or two). I wasn't crying at the song that was being sung but instead was crying because I was touched by a mentally handicapped person that was there. He was just taken by the music and was expressing it. Tears came first because he reminded me of my mentally handicapped friends in Kenya whom I miss so much. But tears continued because I could see how him and I were the same..we are misunderstood and long to love and be loved for who we are.

As I was thinking about crying I realized that I've always been okay with crying...feels good and sometimes after you get it out then you can get moving again. Crying, I have found though, is more excepted in our culture then in other cultures. In Kenya, to be openly emotional is to show a weakness and it is rare to see that type of emotional unless a person or family has experienced great pain or gone through a traumatic situation. I have embarassed more than one Kenyan by letting my tears flow but being emotional my whole life, its hard to stop the water works when they start. It is true we can be emotional about things that are seemingly ridiculous or we can blow things out of proportion. But other times, emotions surface because we allowing ourselves to feel as the Lord feels or allowing our God given passions to move the very heart of us.

There is a certain freedom in being able to express your emotions in whatever way works best for you. For me, when the tears come I just let them run their course and allow the Lord to speak to me through these moments. He is pulling my heart strings for a reason. When moments touch me, I try to take notice and not push it aside.

Yes, it is easier to be numb and not feel. But it is amazing when you surrender and allow God's heart to be your heart. It is good to be joyful for things that make Him joyful and be broken for the things that make Him broken. I want my heartbeat and God's heartbeat to be in sync. For me, the things that I am most passionate about are the things that make the tears well up and fall.I want things to move me deeply. I want the Lord to move me deeply. So when a good cry comes, I welcome it.