A Good Cry

There are some times when tears come easily. People would think I am crying at nothing but what is going on in my mind and heart are known, at that moment, by myself and God. For instance yesterday, out of the blue, I started crying at a coffee house I was at (it might have gone unnoticed...with a discrete eye wipe or two). I wasn't crying at the song that was being sung but instead was crying because I was touched by a mentally handicapped person that was there. He was just taken by the music and was expressing it. Tears came first because he reminded me of my mentally handicapped friends in Kenya whom I miss so much. But tears continued because I could see how him and I were the same..we are misunderstood and long to love and be loved for who we are.

As I was thinking about crying I realized that I've always been okay with crying...feels good and sometimes after you get it out then you can get moving again. Crying, I have found though, is more excepted in our culture then in other cultures. In Kenya, to be openly emotional is to show a weakness and it is rare to see that type of emotional unless a person or family has experienced great pain or gone through a traumatic situation. I have embarassed more than one Kenyan by letting my tears flow but being emotional my whole life, its hard to stop the water works when they start. It is true we can be emotional about things that are seemingly ridiculous or we can blow things out of proportion. But other times, emotions surface because we allowing ourselves to feel as the Lord feels or allowing our God given passions to move the very heart of us.

There is a certain freedom in being able to express your emotions in whatever way works best for you. For me, when the tears come I just let them run their course and allow the Lord to speak to me through these moments. He is pulling my heart strings for a reason. When moments touch me, I try to take notice and not push it aside.

Yes, it is easier to be numb and not feel. But it is amazing when you surrender and allow God's heart to be your heart. It is good to be joyful for things that make Him joyful and be broken for the things that make Him broken. I want my heartbeat and God's heartbeat to be in sync. For me, the things that I am most passionate about are the things that make the tears well up and fall.I want things to move me deeply. I want the Lord to move me deeply. So when a good cry comes, I welcome it.

Believe

Every so often I get nervous and worried about if I have what it takes to do what the Lord has called me to do......*sigh*

I went to my young adult group last night even though all I wanted to do was be anti-social at home and watch LOST. I was just in one of those funks where I felt like nobody gets me and honestly I was just missing Kenya a bunch. But I fought it because I knew Satan was trying to knock me down and I also knew that too many episodes of LOST would really mess up my brain.

It was a wonderful discussion but I came away with one word that stuck in my heart and made all the difference. BELIEVE. What do I need to do to accomplish the works that the Lord has called me to do? BELIEVE. He will make all else fall into place.

This is the same word that is the wallpaper on my phone. I took the picture last week when I was in New York City. The word lit up on the side of Macy's just captivated me. BELIEVE. So when I start to doubt or when Satan tries to give me a whammy, I can just know that all the Lord requires of me is to BELIEVE and He will work out the details.

A Precious Harvest

I have been working with one of my client's going on three years now. We've had our ups and downs but at the end of the day I would say I would say that this little one has a special place in my heart. Sometimes I'll tell people that this girl is my best friend. It seemed that when I felt like the whole world was against me, Little Miss would know it and give me the smile or hug I would need. We developed a bond over the years.

It hasn't been all sunshine and roses though. As I was thinking of what to write on my blog, for some reason I kept being reminded of two words that, when spoken to Little Miss, would make her holler at me something fierce. These two words are: WAIT and LISTEN.

Little Miss doesn't like those words. Sometimes those words would bring her to tears. I don't think we, as a whole, like those words either. This is what the Lord tells us to do but I think we often give the same response as Little Miss does: scream our pretty/handsome little heads off. Sometimes we verbalize our frustrations but often I believe, we are screaming on the inside and trying to keep our cool on the outside. But God hears both the inside and outside screams, so we just to vocalize them like Little Miss and allow the Lord to gently quiet our hearts and trust Him more.

I thought about these words more as we looked at the book of James on Thursday night at a youth ministry I volunteer at. James 5: 7-12 talks about patience and waiting. It talks about how a farmer needs to be patient and wait for the crops to grow. A farmer can't harvest before it is time: He will end up with a lousy bunch of crops which won't be worth much and will be lacking. But if a farmer is patient, then he will have a "precious harvest." Also, the bible study leader that night touched on "establishing your heart." He gave the example of a tree with deep roots, which is compared to a person who knows God and His great love, seeks to know Him more, and who practices waiting and listening to Him. This person will be able to perservere in times of trouble and will be able to stand strong because they know who Christ is and know who they are in Christ.

Okay...so wouldn't you know that in Kenya, I have been given two names from different tribes that have been really special to me. The one I adore is: Nekesa, which means Harvester. I believe that the Lord is telling me to be the patient farmer who will have a "precious harvest" when the time is right. The second name is Moraa (More-uh), which means a tree on a hill that provides shade. I believe the Lord is telling me to dig my roots deep into the soil..to get to know Him better...to trust Him more...to listen more...and that when the time is right He will use me to be a refuge..a covering..for those who need it.

Sorry Jesus for hollering at you when you told me to WAIT and LISTEN! I have been like Little Miss so many times. Thank you for teaching me through these precious little ones and making things connect to teach me and grow me.

A Barbie and A Tiger

This weekend was a busy one! There was a Christmas Bazaar at my church where I sold things that I brought back from Kenya. I was able to raise $350 which will go towards The SKY Mission : ). It was an enjoyable time and I got to share about my African kiddos with many people who came through the bazaar to do their shopping. On Sunday, I had the blessing of speaking at two churches, one was my Nana's old church and then the other was its sister church about 15 minutes away.


But after looking at the title you might think: So what does a Barbie and a tiger have to do with the bazaar and church?


Well, the person next to me at the bazaar was selling her Barbies. She had a collection of Barbies that represented different countries around the world. She was setting up her Barbies on the table and that is when I saw her...KENYAN BARBIE!

I thought she was beautiful. I kept making her walk over to my table and look at my stuff. I talked Swahili with her. I've never been too fond of Barbies but she was different. Somebody from church saw my love for her and decided that she wanted to buy Kenyan Barbie for me. I think Kenyan Barbie will enjoy the children's home when I move to Kenya. I know its just a toy but that Barbie made my day. I will always be a kid at heart!

Now for the tiger! Don't worry...it was not a real tiger. This tiger was stuffed. At the second church I went to on Sunday, one of my old head start/IU kids was in attendance. I saw him last time I was there and was looking forward to seeing him again. This little guy was one of the first special needs kids I worked with. OH..and he sure made me work hard. He was quite a handful and often had choice words for me that were quite unpleasant. But I've been told I have special heart for the troublemakers and I guess that is true. This boy with his dark hair and dark eyes tried my patience but taught me a lot of things under fire. He will always be remembered by me.

So, like I said, he was at church. I gave my talk and then the pastor asked me to stand in the middle of the church to be prayed for. I was surrounded by the congregation with my little friend, now 7, right in the middle of the circle..closest to me. In his hands was a huge stuffed animal tiger. My friend observed that everybody was laying their hands on me to pray for me, so he took his tiger's soft paw and placed it on my hand to pray for me as well. It was precious. May not seem like a big moment to everyone reading this but it was just confirmation for me that I was on the right path. And also, I just so glad this little guy is hearing about Jesus...and that his family is as well.

So even though I am 27, two toys ended up being the highlight of my weekend!! Its the little things and often the random things that can mean a whole bunch.

Heavy Heart

It is hard not being in Kenya. It is even harder when I know I have friends that are hurting physically and emotionally there. Please pray for my friend, Eva, who has been very sick as of late. She continues to see doctors and take medicine without any relief. I wish someone could give her a straight answer on what condition she is suffering from but what she has been told has been vague. When she texts me, my heart drops. She is zapped of energy and does not see the sun through the clouds right now. If anybody knows Eva, they would know that she has a lively spirit and a joyful heart. But when I hear from her, I hear a friend who weak, exhausted, and worried. Please join together with me in prayer for Eva. May she experience a touch of the Father's hand!

Also pray for one of my Kenyan mama's. Her and her family recently experienced a great loss in their family this week. This tragedy came three weeks after my mama experienced the death of her brother in a road accident. Pray that the Lord provides for their needs and brings peace to their hearts. Her small children have been really effected and the older boy, who I am particularly close with, has not received news yet because he is away at school.

The Lord has these friends in His hands. He never promised that there would not be sickness and death, but He promised to hold us through these times. I know He is holding Eva and Monica and her family right now.

Disorderly!

Okay, It is confession time. Confession #1: I believe I am the worst blogger known to man. Confession #2: Currently, I am feeling that things are very disorderly and I have a lot of catching up to do. Those two confessions really do tie together. I haven't blogged since August not because I don't have anything to say but because time gets away from me. I WILL DO BETTER! I am hoping at least once a week I can catch ya up on matters pertaining to life, Kenya, and God. Anybody out there is cyber world want to keep me accountable?? Anybody?!?!

Well, lately (meaning this week) I have been frustrated that my house, my car, my brain, my schedule, my time seems to be in a constant state of disorder. I woke up this morning and literally just sat in a stupor on my bed while I looked at the pile of laundry and thought about the dishes in the sink. After seeing the laundry and thinking about dirty dishes, a barrage of other tasks I needed to get done came at me. AHHH!!! I texted the teacher i work with and said that I needed to take a mental health day. And so I've been crossing things off my list. Funny thing about that is that once you cross some off, you think of more. Progress has been made but more have been added...so pretty much my list is the same length as I started. Time to bring in the reinforcements!!

I have to remember, I need to focus on the Lord and He will help me get things down and help me feel more at peace...sometimes I forget that He is even there with me when I am doing my dishes and laundry. He is not a God of disorder so if we just surrender our days, minds, times, hearts, etc. to Him, He is part of the clean-up crew and project assistant. SWEET! Also, I need to ask for help from others. People are willing but sometimes I am afraid to see if they could help me. Honestly, we need to help each other....friends are the Lord's provision in times of disorder.

Well, I will keep on plugging away!! But you will be hearing from me again soon!

Taking Care of God's Children

I've just returned from volunteering at a special needs school for 3 weeks. I was so blessed, humbled, and amazed. I am filled to the brim with love for these children. They each touched my heart in a special way. I saw some of the most brilliant of smiles and received some of the sweetest of hugs. They were all so genuine and real...they don't pretend...they don't put on a show. They took care of me the way they take care of each other...meaning they act immediately without thinking of the cost...they see a need and meet it. They themselves are God's children but they are also taking care of God's children. I know each will be richly rewarded for the love they show each other.

Not only do the kids take care of each other, but I was able to witness a staff of teachers and caretakers who love those children from the very bottoms of their hearts. The head teacher, in particular, knows more about those 75 children than I know about my closest friends. It was awe inspiring to see them work with the kids and interact with them. In a culture that says that a mentally challenged child is of no worth, this staff is still willing to pour all their energy and love into these children. In addition, I saw a young man who is still considered a youth in Kenya come and volunteer his time daily to support the kids and staff. He challenged me to continue to give of myself expecting nothing in return. It was a pleasure working along side these individuals...they are taking care of God's children. They too will be richly rewarded.

It has moved my heart in many ways to see how I can do more and more to help God's children. There are little things that can go a long way as they say. One thing is to not forget my time and allow those memories to spur me on. It makes me even more excited for the future special needs home and being able to take care of God's children there but I also know that there are things i can do in the here and now for this school. Pray along with me as I seek the Lord on this matter. I also pray that you seek the Lord on this matter as well because there are very feasible ways that we can help. And we too will be richly rewarded heavenward for fulfilling God's commandment to love Him and love others.

My heart hurts because there are people in these children's lives who are not taking care of them. They just went home on break and might face things that they should never have to face. Pray for the parents and guardians to take care of God's children in the way they were commissioned to do.

Take care and God Bless!! I am in Kibera (outside of Nairobi) for a week before I head to Kitale (Western Kenya) to visit an organization there for a few weeks. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you all when I return.

Not by chance..

It is not by chance that you meet certain people, go certain places, have certain conversations. The God who is in charge of your life is arranging your steps and meetings. I am noticing a lot now how He has really arranged mine and will continue to do so. The reason I bring this up is because there was just a team here from my church and surrounding churches in my area. They to help build a children's home in a place called Gatundu....I believe they had a blessed time and God receives all the glory for that. But I can see that it was not by chance that the team leader contacted Janice to tell her about my heart from Kenya. And it was not by chance that Janice and I communicated with each other and shared our hopes and dreams. And it was not by chance that when the team leader came to visit last year, Janice was here as well. And it was not by chance that then a team was formed to come serve the people of Kenya and help God's vision become a reality. God knew what He was doing all along.

We never know how God is use things that might have seemed random or out of nowhere. Every opportunity, conversation, job, relationship, etc. the Lord can used to get you to the place He intends for you to be.

I am next heading to a special needs home and school. It seemed so random that I found a website for this place but look...the Lord is using it to equip me and to help me along as I am moving forward with the vision He has given me.

I can give so many examples but let me stop here for now. Thanks for your patience as I have been away from the computer for a bit as the team was here. Love you and thank you for supporting what the Lord is doing here. God Bless!!

Alysha

Catching You Up To Speed

To all those out their in cyberspace who tune in to know what's happening in my life and in the life of The Sky Mission...I wanted to catch ya up to speed. I'll be brief and to the point with it and if there is any questions...feel free to e-mail me (I like getting e-mails). Anyhow, here we go!

• I have a number of opportunities to share about Kenya and The Sky Mission before I leave. I have been raising the support I need for the trip this summer and additional that will go a trip that I will take to survey and purchase land.
• I will go to Kenya for 10 weeks from June 20th to September 6th. On the schedule thus far is helping with a team that is coming to Kenya from my home church (and surrounding churches), visiting a special needs/disabled school and home for a month, and staying with the people of Transformed International for about a month to get more focused information on how to start and maintain a home/ministry (I have been really impressed by the way they run and operate..I hope they can mentor me and show me the ropes).
• I hope to bring goods for Africa and start an Africa Store..so to speak. I will sell the goods for a bit more than I bought them for and the profit will go towards The Sky Mission. If there is any readers who have a forte for this type of endeavor, please let me know.
• I will return to my job next school year and I hope that by summer 2011, I might begin to full time support raise. Whenever I have the monies to purchase the land, it is then when I will make decisions about the move there.

As you know, this is all in the Lord hands. I am trying to not rush the Lord but be sensitive to His timing. He has opened doors thus far and continues to do so. He floors me by His provision and I am excited about all the people that are getting excited about The SKY Mission and how we are sharing in this endeavor together. Piece by piece, the puzzle is coming together.

I ask that you continue to shower The SKY Mission in your prayers. Thank you for joining me in reaching the broken children in Kenya through the love of our majestic and awesome Savior.

A Stubborn 4 year old

Let me preface this story by saying...I LOVE MY JOB! How lucky am I to be able to invest in the lives of these sweet children on a daily basis. I actually miss them during the weekends and think about them randomly and they make me smile. I don't have any kids of my own yet but for now, these kids are my kids.

There is one little guy in particular that the Lord taught me a lesson through a few weeks back. This handsome bugger is sweet and funny...yet can be stubborn as I'll get out. What I didn't know about him was that he doesn't like to take walks...especially if the walk delays playing on the playground. He walked nice for about two blocks and then PLOP!...legs went up and his butt went to the ground. As he was sitting on the ground..bent in an unnatural way...i was using all my tools to get him walking to which he responded "No..play playground." I tried to tell him that playing on the playground would require us to actually get there but no go.

He got up for a short bit (5 steps maybe) and PLOP! again. This time, he was scooting on his bottom down the sidewalk in an effort to get away from me. Since my legs go faster than a scooting four year old, i caught up with him rather quickly. When I did, in the middle of his defiance, he started singing a song that went something like this...."I looooove you , I lovvve youuu, I love love love you Lysha." (It was ELF like..if you saw that movie before). Hahaha..too cute..i almost gave in but I had to stay strong...HE HAD TO WALK..lol. When I could do nothing else, I carried him which was met by him cursing at me under his breath. Eventually, we got to the playground but the consequence of his stubborness was no play playground. Yep, I'm a big meanie..lol.

So how does this relate to Jesus?!? Let me tell you. So often we can be like a stubborn preschooler. We walk nice with Him for awhile but when we don't get what we want or a goal is blocked (through a trial), we plop down instead of trusting that we will get to where we need to be if only we persevere. We might have a resurge of reliance on God but our tolerance for the pushes and pulls of life is not so great and we plop down again. Its then when we scoot on our bottoms, saying we love Jesus with our mouths while not truly believing it in our hearts. All the while not, we are not being the child He made us to be. He didn't make us to scoot but soar.

In our defiance, He doesn't leave us or give up...He scoops us up in His arms and carries us through. We are not aware of this because we think He has left us, so we curse him. Truth is He has guiding us and keeping us from going nowhere.

In His great love, He teaches and disciplines us. He has great amounts of patience for us when we are scooting on our bottoms or cursing Him. He puts up with so much and we can be so stubborn that any human would have thrown in the towel and said.."Peace out!" But not our Lord, His grace abounds. We doesn't lose heaven for our defiance...we get to eternally go to the big playground in the sky.

Thank you Jesus for teaching me so much about yourself and myself through working with these kids!! Sorry for when I am a stubborn 4 year old!! Allow me to learn and change...so i'm not scooting around on the ground. Give me vast amounts of love and patience to give freely to these little ones.

Live in the here and now

So........I GOT THE JOB!!! After many phone calls and many days of patiently waiting, I was told that I could start this week. I have two days under my belt so far and I'm excited about the next few months. I will be learning a lot and have a lot of hands-on experience! I know this is what I am suppose to be doing right now...that this is part of the larger picture. As I am sitting here, sipping hot chocolate with my feet up (snow day already..lol), I am just thankful to have a God who is conducting the orchestra of my life and He is making it into a beautiful symphony.

From now until the summer...Here are some things (not an exhaustive list by any means) I'm looking forward to (that I would have missed if I ran off to Kenya before God's timing):

• Getting to know 15 great kids at work, learning more about special education, etc.
• Being able to spend more time with family. Being around for my niece's 1st birthday.
• Sharing more about Kenya at different places (Girl Scouts, Family Fun Night, etc.)
• A disability conference in April
• Spending more time with the youth and being able to take a part in the Famine etc.
• Continuing work with my two clients (and being able to then work with them after the summer)
• Having the chance to see some of my Kenya friends in America (two that I know of might be coming for different reasons)
• Helping with training/planning for a team that is coming to Kenya in June
• Preparation of heart and plans for summer
• Growing friendships and making memories
• Much, much more in store than I even know

There is a picture in my apartment that has a saying on it. It says "Every now and then, live in the here and now." In Ecclesiastes it says, "There is a time for everything..." I don't want to miss what's happening here and now...i don't want to miss the joys and blessings of today. I know all things will come to pass that the Lord has intended.....I need to slow my pace and open my eyes....living each day and trusting that it will work together to get me closer to where God has called me.

For instance, I realized that I would be suited to help in all areas of the future children's home. For example, during my college years, I worked at a pharmacy and also interned as a chaplain at a hospital. Did I do these things because I was like " Oh, the Lord will use this when he calls me to start a children's home??" Nope, I just needed a job and I also needed to do an internship. But when there is a clinic on the compound and they need help with patients .....I have the skill set to be able to assist them. I've lately seen how the Lord has had me different places at different times all because it will be of use for His kingdom work.

Okay, I am going to continue cleaning, e-mailing, resting etc. on this snow day. Have a blessed day, week, and month.

The Unexpected!

Thought I should bring you all up to speed on the recent happenings!! This is not an exhaustive account of the past 2 weeks but I give you the important details. A bunch can happen in a short amount of time when the Lord is moving things along. So here we go:

Two weeks ago, and for a couple months prior, Satan had my heart and soul in a bad place. I was believing lies and I was thinking about myself. I had put walls around myself and became very inward. I wanted to get out of America as fast as I could. I was busy pointing fingers at everyone else and forgot, like the old addage says, that 3 fingers were pointing back at myself.

But boy, am I glad that our God is a God of grace and restoration. He brought me to a place of realization then starting restoring my heart and relationships that had suffered. He got me in a healthy place for me to accept an open door.

I went to visit my old co-workers at a preschool and was offered two jobs in one day. In a time where many are losing jobs, it was a miracle in itself for that to happen. The one job seemed so ideal but I wanted to make sure that it was from the Lord. As I thought and prayed, I realized that taking this job in an autistic support preschool classroom would get me to Kenya faster in the long run. I was in a place where I was able to see clearly that I needed to focus on my responsibilities here and not just run away to Kenya as quick as possible. Yes, this my calling but the Lord does not be foolish about the steps i'm taking. So, I am going to walk through this door that I believed the Lord has opened. If it is not the right one, then He will close it and show me what I am to do.

Taking this job means that I will go to Kenya this summer to continue the work of the SKY Mission. While I am here the next few months, not only will I get more experience training, but I will also be able to prepare for this summer even more...making the most of my time there. I am excited!! It feels right to me.

Please pray as I am trying to contact those at the office so I can start this position as soon as possible. It is somewhat difficult to get in touch with them so I just ask that you pray for favor.

I just want to praise the God who works all things out for good and is never far away.